Keep repeating yourself until I hear you please

A letter to Boise State fans on their "Broncoboard"

2009-09-09T16:47:00.002-06:00

As the newest convert to Bronco nation, I would like to reach out and help some of my new brothers and sisters understand the AP poll results that came out this morning. I get that you might be feeling confused and angry that somehow BYU has jumped us in the rankings. Never fear, it is understandable that you may feel this way. The polls incorporate several concepts that are not generally well understood at BSU, such as "math", "history", and "geography", while omitting more familiar themes such as "truck driving", "vending machine repair", and "recreational drug use".

Let's start with history. As Travis has pointed out, BSU is 2-0 against BYU, so you would think that would mean that BSU would HAVE to be ranked ahead of BYU. Also it has been pointed out the BSU also beat Oklahoma. However, hold on to your orange hats here, those games occurred in what is referred to in scientific terms as the "past". Remember how before the sun came up lots of times before, our Basketball team used to be pretty good? Apply that concept to the BSU victories against BYU and you start to get the picture.

Next let's take math. The opponent that BYU beat was better than the opponent that BSU beat because they were ranked HIGHER. Rankings are indicated by little numbers next to teams names, but here's the tricky part, the LOWER the number, the higher they were ranked. Think of it this way. When you get pulled over for DUI and the officer asks you to blow in the little hose, the LOWER the number is, the better the chances that you don't have to spend the night in jail. Now you're getting it!!!!!!

Finally, geography. BSU's win was what we call a "home" game. These are easy to identify because the game is played on a large blue gymnasium mat and someone informs you how to dress. As opposed to a "road" game where you have to take a greyhound bus or Southwest flight to reach the stadium and then make the difficult decision of which of your 17 orange-themed shirts go best with your cut-offs and flip-flops. If you are fortunate, this "road" game may take place somewhere along your current long-haul truck route, and you can sleep in the stadium parking lot.

Facebook statuses make me emotional

2009-09-07T22:12:00.004-06:00

...on a side note, the word "statuses" is a really weird word. I had to look it up. Find me another time when you'd use that word in the plural tense.

Anyway, I have seen a lot of problems with people's statuses lately. Here are a few:

(Someone) is home from Washington..now to catch up on my homework she put off all weekend.
What in the world? This person has a clone doing homework for her that goes by her name. And the clone was in Washington supposedly?!?...I'm so confused. Please clear this up for me.

(Someone)is going to bed now. her computer is having issues and im sick of it really.
Once again, someone with schizophrenia is writing on her status or something

(Someone) just ate a sandwich
Man if everyone put down something on their facebook about everything they've eaten...and if it was a special sandwich you should have said so

(Someone) is DEFINANTLY not understanding you're attitude lately
I have so many problems with this one. Someone DEFINITELY skipped all of her English classes throughout school. "Your/You're," "There/Their/They're," etc. have different meanings guys. You can't just pick the one you like. It made me cringe just to write the quoted status with so many errors. Also, WHO are you talking to? The worst thing of all statuses is the fact that so many pronounce to the world some kind of information that they want to keep confidential! What the...?!?!?

OK, I'm done. Whew. I now propose that spell check be placed on Facebook.

Swine Flu Jokes!

2009-06-07T13:43:00.003-06:00

I'm automatically more funny cuz I have swine flu. Like a black man that can make funny black jokes, I am a swine flu victim that can make funny swine flu jokes!

1. Instead of "achoo" I say "achOINK" when I sneeze.
2. "Do I smell bacon. Crap, gotta take my temperature. I think I have a fever again."
3. (As I enter my room) "Man this place is a pigsty!"
4. (When the Health Department calls me) "Oink? Oink OINK oink oink oink." (pause and wait for a response. This was really fun.)
5. OK, there really aren't that many. But they cheer me up. :)

Today is the first 2 Sundays in a row I've missed since getting pnuemonia in 2003. I really miss going to church and feeling the Spirit and feeling pushed to do a little better. Sure, I've been reading scriptures and stuff, but it just isn't the same. I don't know what I'd do without the Church in my life!

National Sun Safety Week

2009-06-04T11:24:00.002-06:00

I am doing all I can to honor National Sun Safety Week by staying indoors. How's that for observance? :) My to-do list for today is quite lengthy:

1. Roll around in the mud CHECK
2. Pig out on some food CHECK
3. Take a nap
4. Write in blog

OK, so I'm going out of order, but I didn't expect to finish the first two things so early in the morning. So far I'm feeling better and my facial hair is pretty impressive based on what I was expecting, but the side effects of the medicine are horrible. Take a look:

Parenting 201

2009-06-03T15:41:00.007-06:00

I previously posted some advice on parenting. Another resource available might be this picture. The next time your daughter comes home from school crying because a boy has told her she has cooties, you should show her THIS picture:

...then tell her, "Would you rather have cooties or be the ugliest dog in the world like this freak of nature? Now go outside and play." After she smiles and hugs you, she'll skip outside grabbing the sides of her sunflower dress. Then you can lean back and tell yourself just how awesome a parent you are.

REALLY direct questions...

2009-06-03T15:30:00.002-06:00

In Business Law, we were taught about the obvious difference between a direct, effective question and an open or leading question. Questions that are made to make facts clear and simple are generally very direct and closed (one or two word answers). After watching CourtTV today, however, I think some of these lawyers take this concept a little too far:

1. The youngest son, the 20 year old, how old is he?
2. Q: Was it you or your brother that was killed that night?
A: Obviously my brother
Q: ...then he did not kill you?
3. And you were present at that time when your picture was taken?
4. How far apart were the vehicles at the time of the collision?
5. You were there until the time you left, is that true?
6. Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
7. Q: So you fled down the basement stairs?
A: Yes
Q: And these stairs, did they go up also?

WOW

Turn that frown upside down

2009-06-03T14:20:00.004-06:00

Sometimes isolation hurts. Of course, I know I'm never really alone. I always have YouTube with me. So after what was going to be a bad day, I found this CD and ordered it online:

Now I'm soaring!

Thoughts keep racing...

2009-06-03T12:48:00.006-06:00

My mind is still healthy I think. So with all the TV and stuff I've been watching, many questions of the soul have entered my mind:

Has anyone ever watched a full WNBA game on TV?

Why is it socially acceptable to use song and dance to tell a story or make a point in musicals, but it's not acceptable in real life?

Why are Wendy's hamburger patties square?

Does Windex really clean tanning beds?

Would a goofy-looking chump like Luke Russerthave gotten internships with PTI and Late NightWith Conan O'Brien and a correspondent job withMSNBC if his dad weren't the late Tim Russert?

Why does pitchman Billy Mays get so excited about OxiClean?

Why do we still have to listen to marching bands at football halftime games?

Does the 3rd Manning brother feel like a loser?

Why do 10 second downloads on ITunes cost $1.99 when full song downloads cost $0.99?

Does Dick Vitale know his voice is gritty and annoying?

Do whitening toothpastes really do anything?

Why do women wear those weird sweater things that tie together at the front, even when it oddly accentuates the breasts? They wear t-shirts or tanktops underneath, and never take it off, so why not just wear a sweater?

SWINE FLU!

2009-06-03T12:36:00.002-06:00

Well, turns out I may have swine flu from the MTC. I did eat ham the day before I got sick, in case you were wondering. But in addition to being stuck here the next few days making blog posts instead of working (Dr. says I need to avoid humans until Monday), there are many advantages to having swine flu:

1. This totally proves I'm part Mexican.
2. I have now watched every Office episode created.
3. My leftovers NEVER get eaten by someone else now.
4. The mask I wear lets me smile when I'm being sarcastic. Nobody knows I'm smiling. They all think I'm grouchy.

I also have lots of ideas for things to do over the weekend! I'll blog them all here so you can almost FEEL what swine flu feels like.

Summertime!

2009-05-09T10:53:00.000-06:00

Dear blog,

I'm so sorry I have neglected you so. This will never happen again until classes start in the fall. I'll write again soon, I promise.

-Spencer

My Dream Girl

2009-02-04T11:12:00.002-07:00

Since I'm single, I thought I'd show to you all my dream girl. Kind of like Brad Pitt or Matthew McCophany or whatever. You have all heard of her. All men have likely dreamed of her. She is Rachel Nichols:

Oh man. I know, I really don't need to explain myself. But I will.

5 Reasons Rachel Nichols would be the coolest girlfriend ALIVE:

1. I could hear her talk for hours. I like to listen, but it would be HEAVEN to listen about sports for hours. "So how was work today?"...
2. "I miss Rachel. Oh I know I'll watch my FAVORITE station and see her beautful face."
3. On her days off, we could watch a basketball/football game. We could talk during it - not about hair or shopping. But about the field. The players. We'd argue who was going to win. (Imagine girls, if you talk about romantic stuff while watching a chick flick with your guy. Same idea here.)
4. No other woman sports reporter looks like a human, let alone like a woman. Most look like trolls, U of U linebackers, or Hagrid's wife. Like Andrea Lloyd from the Mountain.
5. There's something intriguing about girls with red hair.

...or take WebMD's advice...I did!

2009-01-20T23:29:00.002-07:00

I recently wrote to WebMD with a question. They were a little harsh, but sometimes the truth hurts. Here is the response, cut and pasted from their website:

Dr. Andersonavich Will See You Now

2009-01-15T13:46:00.006-07:00

Last night, my sister Josee was feeling a little under the weather (she gave me permission to use this photo):

She said she was plugged up, so my mom gave her a sudafed. Which she says will solve that problem. But Josee didn't want to have a runny nose while sleeping all night, nor drainage into her throat (an excellent point) so my mom gave her a pill to dry things up. It really seemed like they cancelled each other out, right? WRONG, because one of the second medicine's side effects includes a runny nose. Weird right?

I love the prescription drug TV commercials where upbeat music plays while a person goes through his daily life with a smile on his face because his ailments are suddenly healed from popping a pill. The best part is that while this person is looking so happy, a voice in the background casually lists all the possible side effects. Wow, suddenly being cured doesn't seem so great when you could die from the same medicine.

Here is my prognosis (as a future recipient of a doctorate degree) on some medicines based on their side effects:

Purpose: anxiety
Possible side effects: depression, muscle twitching, agitation, concentration problems, diarrhea.
Prognosis: Is it just me or are all of these side effects also signs of anxiety? So what is Xanax actually curing? Plus now you have diarrhea to boot. Stay away from this one.

Purpose: enlarged prostate

Possible side effects: cough, diarrhea, dizziness, headache, infection, nausea, runny nose, sinus problems, sleepiness, sore throat, weakness

Prognosis: So now you don't have to pee as often but you have diarrhea and a runny nose. That's a trade-off I wouldn't make 9 times out of 10. No thanks, Flomax.

Purpose: insomnia

Possible side effects: dizziness, daytime-drowsiness, unusual dreams, loss of coordination, breast enlargement in males.

Prognosis: This medicine is supposed to help you sleep so you wouldn't even notice the dizziness or loss of coordination (unless you sleepwalk). And I think the unusual dreams could be fun and the enlarged breasts would finally help me gain weight. I'm giving Lunesta the green light.

Purpose: shorter periods

Possible side effects: bleeding or spotting between menstrual periods, blood clots in the legs, liver tumors.

Prognosis: I've never had a period but it seems to me that the whole point of having a shorter period is so you bleed less and get it over with sooner. So basically they're promising you a 3-day period but warn you may bleed in between your 3-day periods. So it's not a 3-day period. Plus you could get a liver tumor. Sounds like a raw deal to me.

Purpose: depression

Possible side effects: Impotence, constipation, decreased sex drive, blurred vision, weight gain or loss, increased sweating, difficulty urinating.

Prognosis: After curing my depression, I think Cymbalta's side effects would depress me all over again (see below and add all of these possible side effects as causes of depression). This one is a no-go.

Purpose: heart burn

Possible side effects: nausea, flatulence, abdominal pain, constipation, dry mouth, allergic reaction, back pain, chest pain, hot flashes, fatigue, fever, flu-like disorder, pain, rigors.

Prognosis: Let me get this straight--Nexium is supposed to make you feel better when you have heart burn. But it can also give you a stomach ache, nausea, and a fever, to name a few of the new ailments. Aren't all of those things as bad or worse than heart burn? My accounting skills say you're better off just going to sleep with the heart burn.

and of course...

Purpose: erectile dysfunction

Possible side effects: four-hour erection.

Prognosis. I know we're all thinking this so I'll just say it: Isn't that the point?

Psychology 101

2009-01-14T15:13:00.009-07:00

The other day, I was listening to the radio and there was a Doctor (a psychologist) taking phone calls to answer questions about Seasonal Depression. I realize this is and could be a serious problem for some. Apparantly, it is a problem for many. People spend a fourth of their lives (Winters) depressed. They go to the doctor and get "light therapy." That is just sad. After extensive research within myself and talking to pessimistic people at school, I have found some of the main causes of this seasonal depression:

The holidays are over
School begins
Taxes need to be filed
Valentine's Day is coming up, and you don't have a boyfriend/girlfriend
Snow is everywhere on the road threatening to slide your car into a ditch
It takes 10-15 extra minutes to get anywhere because of the snow and overcautious drivers
Whenever the sun comes out, it seems to be even colder 0utside than usual. (this has something to do with something called an inversion)
You feel like you have overspent on things and that feeling of guilt has swept over you
New Years Resolutions (one more chance to fail at something, right?)
You probably gained about 20 pounds or more over the break (unless you are special like me)
There are limited things to do and limited ways to exercise and get that extra weight off. (swimming, hiking, running outside, folk dancing are all out of the question

Combined, these events create an overpowering sense of inadequacy. Year after year the same feeling comes when January rolls around. So our brains decide that for the next three months life is miserable. We train ourselves into misery. And...TADA! You have seasonal depression.

For all of you out there that talked to Dr. Zchalafifanvadsfjlvich on the radio yesterday, I have some real life suggestions for how you can get rid of seasonal depression:

TIP NUMBER 1: Sometimes when working at SESD we would get idiot callers wondering why their electricity bill had gone up so much. They didn't realize that having their trailer hooked up to an outlet for 30 days straight used power I guess. Anyway, when you get a bill like this, it sure can't help you keep a positive outlook on life:

Who left the fridge open?

The answer: During the holidays, stop trying your best to look like morons by hiking your electricity bill up:

Christmas isn't about looking ridiculous anyway.

TIP NUMBER 2: Traveling is much harder in the winter, especially near Provo where students from Florida are sticking their heads out of their windows, trying to catch snowflakes on their tongues (while driving). Our solution to getting places in the winter without it ruining your day and time: Buy new tires-

I know I look sad but I'm really just trying to look cool/Mexican.

New tires run around $500. That's half of what you saved on your power bill anyway, so it shouldn't be too big of an issue.

TIP NUMBER 3: Get a boyfriend/girlfriend. I don't have much advice for guys on getting a girlfriend, considering I haven't qualified myself as an expert in that department. However, there are many things a girl can do to assure a catch - maybe in time for Valentine's Day! YAY!:

1. Shave your upper lip. A smooth upper lip makes for easier kissing. You don't want things to progress that far and then come crashing down because of some fuzz! Wax if you have to. This is essential to your happiness.

2. Don't talk about your depression in front of your prey (the boy). The boy will either run or use you since you seem to be willing to do anything to be happy.

3. Be a little more forward. Boys like girls. A LOT. You are not likely to be shut down. Run your hand through his hair (find someone who isn't a grease ball), squeeze his tushie, etc.

4. Don't mention boys that you have crushes on while you are on a date with a guy you have a crush on. People you shouldn't mention might include: His best friend, your best friend, Brad Pitt, and Edward.

Now you can be happy! You owe me $100 for reading my psychological advice.

Parenting 101

2009-01-12T15:24:00.005-07:00

I, for one, have thought about what to say to my children when bad things happen to them. Part of good parenting, in my opinion, is keeping a positive attitude which will influence your children to be positive as well. Here is a parenting lesson for all of us to take into our hearts...

When your kid comes home from school and tells you that a bully was pushing him around, show him this picture:

Then say, "Son, at least you're not a six-legged deer. Imagine how the other deer treat this freak."

Who wouldn't feel better after hearing that? Life is all about putting things in perspective.

Exhibit 3

2009-01-04T20:00:00.002-07:00

The Twilight movie was at best a disaster, and yet it has produced a huge amount of hype and plenty of (brainwashed) people love it. See Exhibit 2 where girls are talking about seeing it over 10 times in a month. The following are problems that are inexcusable for a film available in all theaters. Could a person seeing a movie with so many errors overlook them all? Only if they were brainwashed...

Exhibit 2

Revealing mistakes:
1. In the scene with Edward and Bella talking in the cafeteria (when she drops the apple and he catches it) it is very apparent that he has pit stains. Vampires don't sweat. Everyone knows that.
2. Throughout the entire movie the vampires' contact lenses are clearly visible in close ups. For example, during Bella's flashback after the car accident, you see a close-up of Edward's eye - the outer rim of the contacts Robert Pattinson is wearing is distinctly visible.
3. In one of the forest scenes Edward has his sleeves rolled up and you can clearly see that he has a tan. Vampires are shown in the film to have white skin (except Laurent).
4. In a scene in the lunch room, Emmet is clearly seen chewing on food. It has been stated time and time again in the books that vampires do not eat, and their food always remained untouched during lunch. Indeed, Stephenie Meyer mentions on her website that they kept having to redo those scenes because Emmett kept eating. Emmett apparantly likes eating. Sounds like a human man to me.
5. In the scene with Edward and Bella lying in the grass, you can see Edward's carotid pulsating. In the 'Twilight' books, vampires do have hearts, but they do not beat.
6. It's been stated many times that the vampires do not change at all, ever. Yet Edward has varying degrees of stubble throughout the film.
7. Kristen Stewart's microphone was clearly visible between the hem of her shirt and the waist of her pants when Charlie takes Bella to her bedroom in the beginning.
8. Right before the scene when Edward drops Bella off at the Police Station a police truck from Clackamas County pulls out of the lot. Clackamas County is in Oregon, not Washington.

Continuity:
1. While Bella is in the hospital (for the second time) it shows the first shot of her eyes and nose. She has oxygen tubes running to her nose. The tubes are over top of her eyes, but when the camera zooms out the tubes are nowhere near her eyes. Then it zooms back in and the tubes are at her eyes again, and so on.
2. When Edward drops Bella off at the police station on the way back from Port Angeles, she doesn't have her bag, which contained the book she picked up from the book store that she uses later on to research the "cold ones".
3. In the ballet studio, James clearly breaks Bella's right leg. However, in the hospital, Bella's right leg is not covered by the blankets and reveals only bandaging on her thigh; her left leg is covered and appears to be straight and in a cast. In the following scene (prom), it's her right leg in a cast.
4. In the scene where Edward and Bella are on the rocks and Bella asks Edward if anyone else in his family can read minds too. Bella has mittens on and in the next shot they are off and laying in her lap.
5. In the baseball scene, Rosalie's hair changes between shots. In some, her hair is shown to be neatly curled, in other shots, it is shown to have lost its curl almost in its entirety, and so on. (A girl would immediately recognize this.)
6. When Bella is in the forest to confront Edward on who he is the flap on his right shoulder of the jacket Edward is wearing is buttoned down, in the following scene, unbuttoned, then buttoned again.
7. In the meadow scene, Edward and Bella are lying very closely together at first, but when the shot switches, they are suddenly quite a bit farther apart even though they appear not to have moved.
8. When Charlie is telling Bella that the security guard had been killed by the "animal," you can clearly hear that it is raining but neither Bella nor Charlie are getting wet and no rain can be seen.
9. During the Ballet Studio scene, when some of the Cullens arrive to help Edward fight James we see Emmett, Alice & Jasper jump from a balcony to the ground below. In the wide shot we see Alice land while the other two are still falling, but then in the next shot we see all three of them land at the same time.
10. Throughout the film, dark roots on Rosalie's would show in one scene and then disappear in another due to the fact Nikki Reed's is naturally very dark instead of blonde.
11. When Bella confronts Edward, her red book bag on the left of the screen seems to flip and move around in different shots on the scene.
12. At the prom Bella and Edward see Jessica and Mike. Bella motions to Jessica then they turn and walk away with their backs facing them. Bella and Edward walk through the crowd, seeing Tyler dancing, then they see Angela and Eric. When the scene comes back to Bella and Edward you can clearly see Jessica dancing right behind them even though she would have been on the other side of the room.
13. When Jacob confronts Bella at the prom scene she is shown in just her dress. A couple of shots later when Edward cuts in, she has a sweater on.

There are other horrible special effects throughout the film, such as when they make Edward run really fast and it looks as though he is a road runner. Also, the vampire's makeup looks like pancake batter.

Exhibit 2

2008-12-22T12:53:00.009-07:00

Hopefully, exhibit one has shown that men (even ones that girls find attractive somehow) are the ugliest things on the planet. I'll admit it. That's why I like girls. I will eternally thank my wife someday for making the sacrifice of being with a man, of all creatures, for the rest of her existence.

Our next set of evidence could very well be my last if I don't be careful, as it deals with the emotions and psychological quirks of that gender. Yes, I will delve into unknown territory. I will venture into the places where man has never so much as touched without getting horribly scarred: the woman mind.

Exhibit 2

To make it simple, I will let these girls show for themselves that they are brainwashed. The following are quotes (testimonies) of real women (and an occasional man) referring to the series...notice how horrible their grammar is - apparantly they skipped English class to go to the Twilight showings. I realize there are a lot of quotes here but I had to show that this wasn't really a minority...this problem is widespread. I may comment here and there in italics...

Cara McNiel (UNI) wroteat 8:02am
So I reserved my copy of the movie...which appparently comes out in MARCH!! and i got a cardboard cut out of edward :)

Elizabeth Stanley (Sparsholt College) wroteat 6:25am
If i can truely find my own Edward i want to be turned into a vampire straight away

Christo-Gail Cullen-Bronson (Chicago, IL) wroteat 8:02pm yesterday
everyone ive got to start it loves it! they just have to pick it up! Like they CAN'T control themselves...sounds like they've been brainwashed....i talked my bestfriend into going to see it from across the country...which was oober difficult cuz she's ridiculously stubborn but she went and now shes obsessed she went home after the movie and ordered all the books off ebay lol

Antonella Baldassarre wroteat 12:00pm yesterday
i wish to find someone like Edward..in the meantime..Keep searching:)

Charlotte Whittle wroteat 11:20am yesterday
I wish i had a boyfriend like Edward...it would be amazing 2 have a guy exactly like him!its so NOT fair.

Elizabeth Jaro wroteat 10:47pm on December 20th, 2008
omg i cant believe he cut his hair.im reading the series for the 12th time now. Ive kept all the movie stubs of going to the show and ive gone 23 times already! Im going again in a few hours alone cuz noone else will go wit me anymore!

Chelsea Krebs (UCF) wroteat 9:29am on December 20th, 2008
Haha, that was my first thought after reading 'Twilight' last week - that now I might not be able to settle for anything less than Edward Cullen.

Becca Monachelli (Wheatley School) wroteat 11:19pm on December 19th, 2008
Just read New Moon, that took me 2 months to read... ha and i'm dislexic. There is nooone like Edward! Does anyone know where he lives? Creeeepy

Jessica Jackson (Mississippi State) wroteat 6:27pm on December 19th, 2008
I HAVE A BACKGROUND OF EDWARD ON MY PC SO THAT EVERYDAY I'LL SEE HIS FACE AND REMEMBER WHAT IT IS THAT I (AND EVERY GIRL) TRULY DESERVE...AHHHH lOVE lOVE lOVE EDWARD =) (Stay away from me Jessica)

Malaika Ali wroteat 7:24pm on December 19th, 2008
My relationship did NOT survive an Edward Cullen encounter lol

Renee Montgomery (Timken Senior High School) wroteat 9:13pm on December 19th, 2008
It's a little ridiculous how like...i compare every guy to edward now..just every line he says AMAZES me! i have my little list of my favorite edward quotes

Olivia O'Rourke wroteat 6:15pm on December 19th, 2008
My Edward will come for me someday... No he won't you're going to die single, surrounded by your 80 cats

Kyle Maiden (Bristol) wroteat 5:47pm on December 19th, 2008
It's true, my relationship seemed slightly inadequate after I read Twilight

Tressa Dawn Johnston (Edmonton, AB) wroteat 5:40pm on December 19th, 2008
my bf needs to be just like edward!!

Angelique Picanco (Concordia Canada) wroteat 1:07pm on December 19th, 2008
Bf thinks I have lost my mind and refuses to read the book for some pointers... Like standing in the corner of my room while I sleep and kissing my hair is too much to ask!! LOL...I think we need therapy (I think YOU do...)

Nicole Grint-Cullen (Panama) wroteat 6:56am on December 19th, 2008
yeah edward is awesome, i was in love witrh edward before but after midnight sun, nothing is the same.. hahaha ♥

Cathy Godin Hawley (Edmonton, AB) wroteat 9:59pm on December 18th, 2008
Hi everyone. I found this on a facebook group. I thought you would all enjoy it.cheers!"Edwrad Prayer:
Our Edward,
Who art Forks,
Hallowed be thy sparkles,
Thy Volvo comes,
thy will be fast,
On earth as it is in the meadow,
give you this day,
our daily blood,
forgive us our heartbeats,
as we worship Carlisle for giving you life,
lead us into temtation,
deliver us to you,
the music and the hotness,
aw Edward
Ummm I have no words to add.
Gaylene Kristina Page wroteat 12:32pm
im sooooooo obsessed that i went to chapters and bought EVERY kind of twilight shirt i already have ALL the posters and the host and the twilight series and i bought a twilight bag and even twilight BANDAIDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ahhhhhhh

Stephanie Fergusson (Regina, SK) wroteat 12:09pm
I love this movie so much. Edward/Robert is hott. I own the soundtrack, the whole series, and ordered shirts, sweaters, stickers...even Bella's Charm Bracelet! Call me obsessed. :P ♥ ♥ ♥ I will call you obsessed thanks

Alison Heazell (London) wroteat 5:33pm on December 20th, 2008
Just seen it and am totally smitten with Edward ! Now how am I supposed to find a man if they have to compare to Edward !!!!!!! xx just amazing !

Anastasia Kvaskova (London) wroteat 10:28am on December 20th, 2008
how hot is edward??!! the whole vampire thing too--and how he saves bella all the time!!!! HOT HOT HOT!

OK, so basically, you get the idea. These were all quotes taken from the 20th at the EARLIEST. I didn't want to throw up so I stopped there. These girls are brainwashed. Next exhibit will come tomorrow.

Exhibit One

2008-12-22T00:20:00.007-07:00

So, I wondered to myself, "What IS a vampire anyway?"...so I went to the Bible Dictionary, and it says....wait....its not there....hmmmm

Myth: Edward Cullen is good looking

To those affected by this crazy craze, Edward Cullen looks like this:

Just look at that almost pornography in girl's minds:

Thoughts that probably go through girl's heads include:
1. Bite me Edward, just bite me!
2. Read MY thoughts, Edward!
3. I would give ANYTHING to spend half a movie up a tree with Edward!

I will now prove to you the many unbeautiful characteristics of our little "friend."

EXHIBIT ONE

First, let's see a picture...notice that I don't refer to this picture as almost pornography, although more skin is shown. This is due to the Cable TV Censorship law, in which naked people can be shown if they aren't enticing. The best example I can give of this is National Geo(graphic) and their tribal documentaries.

Thoughts that WOULD go through a girl's mind knowing the REAL Edward:
1. Get that armpit hair outta my face!
2. What's the deal with the tail on your head?
3. Ewww get out of my thoughts!

Now, obviously I'm not a connoisseur of men's looks. Just look at me and maybe you could tell. But I am not just going off a hunch here. This is a scientific fact, based off of a statistical survey of two girls I know. My mom and sister both said that this man looks disgusting. I later told them that this was in fact Edward Cullen, which triggered my sister's response, "Whatever Edward is way better looking than that." My sister is brainwashed as well, apparantly. I now only have more drive to cure this disease. I love my sister and someday she should be married to a man.

Other reasons this "man" is really unattractive:
1. A recent biomedicine study found that smokers tend to have pale and unhealthy skin due to poor circulation.
2. A New York Times Article explains that "tan" is the new phenomenon. While pale skin generally doesn't mean unhealthy skin, tan is idolized as healthy and glamorous today.
3. It is generally known that girls want a man that can understand a woman. However, Edward constantly repeats throughout the book that he can't read her thoughts.

Twilight is Darkness With a TEENY bit of Light That Attracts Women and Deceives Them...

2008-12-17T16:49:00.005-07:00

O.K. people...it is time for the truth.

Thomas S. Monson said:

We live in perilous times; the signs are all around us. At times television and movies portray worldly and immoral heroes and heroines and attempt to hold up as role models some actors and actresses whose lives are anything but exemplary.

Now, President Monson MAY not have been referring to the recent teen craze that swarms the valley, but if members can call Coca-Cola against the word of wisdom, I can make a case against Twilight. I predict that the Strength of the Youth pamphlet will one day have a section about being realistic and keeping our imagination in check. I realize the perils I face in angering the girl world all around me, but feel an inner duty to rise to the occasion and declare the truth:

Twilight is a brainwasher.

I consider myself fortunate to know this; to be able to get so close to it without being completely infested by its disease. This disease, however, must be eradicated if we are going to keep the human race alive. It all began with a Facebook group created by Scott Applegate which revealed much of this current social issue which could one day bring down our wonderful country and its ideals.

Men, have you ever been with a group of girls when the name "Edward" was brought up? Did you spend the next 30 minutes taking a verbal pounding for not being perfect like he is? Did you once think you were charming, handsome, a complete ladies' man before this vampiric entity came on the scene and destroyed this self image? Are you sick of competing with Edward Cullen? Well, this is where the TRUTH will be revealed about our perfect little "friend." It may shock you:

EDWARD CULLEN IS A FICTIONAL CHARACTER!! Honestly, he is a male character in a book series for women written by a woman! Of course he will be perfect! Please, if you are real man, take a stand. Help bring our lady friends back to earth because, truthfully, the race can't progenerate with an imaginary heartthrob.

In the next few days, I will demonstrate examples (evidence) of how people have been brainwashed by this poison. Recently, I heard that the author of the series may create the whole nightmare over again but from EDWARD'S point of view. Which will be just as far-fetched as the previous books, except she will go as far as try and ASSUME she knows what goes on in a boy's brain. Which isn't possible, obviously - otherwise, women would have figured out by now a cure for the addiction I have to sports.

Delving into my brain...

2008-12-04T09:35:00.005-07:00

Lately, a lot of things have happened in the news, my life, etc. For example, after dropping off some friends the other night, I saw some people parking in a dark corner of BYU. They were obviously making out. I said out loud to myself, "Man, I SO wanna be making out right now." This is something that most ppl will never see of me unless I show it, be it for good or bad. I thought I'd share what I think when I first see things:

First, Plaxico Burress. If you are reading the story on what is going on with this Giants wide receiver, you probably think, "Man I wonder what questions he has in going on in his head right now." Some questions I think we should all ask ourselves:

Is the poor guy okay?
How did he accidentaly shoot himself in the leg?
Why did he need a gun to go clubbing?
Why was he packing heat without a concealed weapons permit?
How long will he be suspended?
Is his career over? With his record, will any team besides the Cowboys even take him?
Will he go to jail?

But the biggest question of all:

8. Who dreamed up the name "Plaxico"?

Next...
I recently found a picture book for little kids at my house and began reading it. Let me show you some of the pictures...

You get the idea. Until....

HUH!??!?!!?

Laslty, maybe some of you noticed that in Spanish Fork a few weeks back or so, near Arby's on Highway 6, there was a little addition to the scenery....Two jet wings.

....Ok, ummmmm.......what are you doing there? Do you need a parking permit for that? Are they just so big that you can leave them wherever and not worry about anybody stealing them? What would happen if I were to go up to one and try some terrorist act by unscrewing a part? Why don't they just make the jet wings in the same place they make the rest of the plane? Why Spanish Fork? Did the truck drivers transporting them just up and quit their jobs when they hit the bottom of the hill?

Time to Make a Stand...

2008-12-02T17:11:00.004-07:00

I find it very inspiring that in October of 1978 Neal A. Maxwell would say something so prophetic for what's going on in our time:

"Make no mistake about it, brothers and sisters, in the months and years ahead,
events are likely to require each member to decide whether or not he will follow
the First Presidency. Members will find it more difficult to halt longer between two opinions. President Marion G. Romney said, many years ago, that he had never hesitated to follow the counsel of the Authorities of the Church even though it crossed my social, professional or political life..'

"This is hard doctrine, but it is particularly vital doctrine in a society which is becoming more wicked. In short, brothers and sisters, not being ashamed of the gospel of Jesus Christ includes not being ashamed of the prophets of Jesus Christ. . . .
Your discipleship may see the time when such religious convictions are discounted. . . This new irreligious imperialism seeks to disallow certain opinions simply because those opinions grow out of religious convictions.

"Resistance to abortion will be seen as primitive. Concern over the institution of the family will be viewed as untrendy and unenlightened....

"Before the ultimate victory of the forces of righteousness, some skirmishes will be lost. Even in these, however, let us leave a record so that the choices are clear, letting others do as they will in the face of prophetic counsel.

"There will also be times, happily, when a minor defeat seems probable, but others will step forward, having been rallied to rightness by what we do. We will know the joy, on occasion, of having awakened a slumbering majority of the decent people of
all races and creeds which was, till then, unconscious of itself.

"Jesus said that when the fig trees put forth their leaves, 'summer is
nigh.' Thus warned that summer is upon us, let us not then complain of the
heat."

Obviously, Proposition 8, abortion rights, and other "civil liberties" which are being created, which never have existed before, come to mind. But there's more to it than that. Are we willing to follow the prophet when he says to have food storage for our families? When he tells us to go home and visiting teaching? When he asks us to keep the Sabbath day holy? When he asks us to magnify a calling? Am I willing to "follow the counsel of the Authorities of the Church even though it crossed my social, professional or political life"? This just may be my answer to elevating myself to a new spiritual level...

...And the Elder's Quorum Presidency!

2008-11-29T18:28:00.001-07:00

Send your own ElfYourself eCards

Merry Christmas from the Andersons!

2008-11-29T17:45:00.001-07:00

Send your own ElfYourself eCards

Max Hall Turnovers

2008-11-28T23:14:00.004-07:00

I am so disappointed. I'm still a BYU fan, but jeez louise! Eat your heart out U of U:

My Insides Are Revealed (Not as graphic as you might guess)

2008-11-18T14:31:00.005-07:00

Spencer the poet, at IHOP

So...I started writing poetry. In Spanish.
...
AND all 3 people that have ever looked at my blog don't know Spanish. So I decided to show how horrible Google Translator is by putting the poem in Spanish, followed by the "translation" that Google provides (you're welcome people...you know you could just learn Spanish):

IN SPANISH:

Ay si supieras que estoy embadurnado de este misterio que eres tu…
Pero soy un ser tan quebradizo que no quiere tu respuesta.
Quisiera probar la savia que se esconde en tus labios
Y descubrir esa forma de ser que me tiene empatado
Siento que camino bajo la sombra de un arcoiris
Sin saber si la seguridad que siento sea fingida
Y ya que nos conocemos y todo,
Porque no dejamos de jugar monopolio
Y dejar nuestros planes estrategicos.
Porque hasta ahora,
por razones que a mí se me escapan
Razono conmigo lo que deberia confundir...
Entonces, atendamos razones
Y vamos a dejarnos por vencidos a este tumulto.
Por que ya quiero dejar la lucha.
Y me siento que sera mas favorable el saber
Que el huir
y Mucho mejor que el no saber mezquino que tengo ahora.
Tengo la solucion delante de las narices....
Ahi voy.
Te veo y no resisto.
Pero despues me pierdo en esos ojos.
Son tan grandes; literalmente son ojos mas grandes que los demas en el mundo.
Y succionan todo el atender del mundo alrededor.
No puedo mirar al vacio atras de ti,
Porque no hay nada atras de tu cara.
Pero no puedo quedarme con la mirada atontada,con los ojos dilatados tampoco.
"Es grosero", siempre me dijo mama.
Y como podria esconder una mirada fija en esos ojos??
Mereces la forma de regodearte con mi adulación exagerada?
Estoy feliz por casualidad y sin haber visto nada por tu parte para serlo.
Entonces sigo,
tratando de respirar cada vez que soples,
esperando sentir el ritmo de ti.
Es dificil tener una conversacion contigo asi,
mientras me enfoco en respirar
y me dedico en la direccion que dirigo los ojos,
queriendo saber si soy una cosa tuya escogida sin metodo
...un juego de azar.
O si tal vez pase lo mismo por tu mente tambien...
Thank you, thank you...and NOW (drumroll) in Google English:
Oh if you knew that I embadurnado of this mystery that is you ...
But I'ma be so brittle that you do not want your answer.
I would like to test the sap that hides in your lips
And discover that way if I had tied
I feel that way under the shadow of a rainbow
Without knowing whether the security they feel is feigned

And as we all know and,
Why do not we stop playing monopoly
And let our strategic plan.
Because so far, for reasons that escape me,
I Reason should confuse that with me ...
Then, look reasons
And we're going to let up in this turmoil.
For that I want to make the fight.
And I feel it will be more favorable to know
That the escape
and much better than not knowing that I mean now.
I have the solution in front of the nose ....
Ahi am going.
I see you and not resist.
But after I lost in those eyes.
They are so big, literally eyes are bigger than the rest in the world.
And suck all around the world meet.
I can not look at the empty back of you,
Because there is nothing behind your face.
But I can not stay with the stunning look, with eyes dilated, either.
"It's rude," mama always told me.
And as might hide a gaze into those eyes?
You deserve the way with my regodearte exaggerated adulation?
I am happy coincidence and without having seen anything of you for being so.
So I continue,
trying to breathe every time it blows,
waiting to feel the rhythm of you.
It's hard to have a conversation with you like that,
while I focus on breathing
and I dedicate it in the direction that leads the eyes,
wanting to know if I am something of yours without chosen method
... a game of chance.
Or maybe the same thing happens on your mind too ...

2008-11-09T22:11:00.009-07:00

Well folks, the new issue of the Ensign has come out. This time: General Conference talks.

Sometimes I have a feeling that General Authorities are a little overzealous in their attempts to be funny or to keep our attention. I don't know if any of you remember, but a few years ago, before my mission I think, President Hinckley challenged someone to a duel in the basement. The place erupted into laughter. Then later on in the session, a seventy got up and challenged President Hinckley to a duel to begin his talk.... Nobody laughed. Another one: I can't remember when it was, but it was before my mission. To close Priesthood session, the man who gave the closing prayer mentioned how much we "love President Kimball." It must have been kind of awkward for him to open his eyes and go over and shake President HINCKLEY's hand lol. The following are my top 5 of quotes that I will never forget:

October 2005. Cheryl C. Lant when talking of children said, "Sometimes I have the luxury of immersing myself in the scriptures. Sometimes I read them in snatches. However, it doesn’t seem to matter where or when I read the scriptures; I can still carry them in my heart."

I listened to this in English while in Mexico. All I could think about was how they were going to be able to change the word "snatches", which probably isn't even a word in English, into Spanish.

April 2002. Spencer J. Condie advised the youth of the Church in his talk: "You young men will grow in stature and physical strength as you engage in folk dancing, sports, and wholesome, friendly athletic competition characterized by good sportsmanship."

Folk dancing? Folk dancing? I've NEVER known a young man to grow in stature and physical strength from folk dancing. Then again, my legs are skinnier than most guy's biceps, so I guess I can't speak from experience.

October 2007. Douglas L. Callister said in his talk that "Brigham Young said of Orson Pratt: 'If Brother Orson were chopped in inch pieces, each piece would cry out: "Mormonism is true."
Okay, that is the weirdest thing I've heard in a long time. There's no way you can spin that to make it sound better. It's just weird. And gross. If you chopped me in inch pieces, each piece would cry out: "Don't quote me in a talk."

October 2002. Colleen Menlove began her talk by exclaiming: "I like exclamation marks!"

Okay. How odd. And probably very difficult again for the foreign language translators to work with during the live broadcast. I don't have a favorite punctuation mark but I'm open to changing that. That comma really is amazing.

April 2001. Carol B. Thomas encouraged parents in her talk to "teach our children to go through their closets regularly and share their clothing while it is still in style, allowing others to dress fashionably too."

I think we all know that you don't go to DI or Salvation Army to buy fashionable clothing. (Unless pit stains and Halloween costumes are the new craze with the youngsters). Of course, maybe that's because we're not encouraging our children often enough to donate their clothing while it's still in style.

Of course, the points of their talks were wonderful. I can't have a top 10 in my favorite spiritual quotes - it would be tough to come by, due to the fact that every conference is so full of powerful, spiritual witnesses. But none will keep you awake better than the weird, awkward statements made in these same conferences. Let me know if you remember any funny, awkward moments of General Conference.

La Gratitud

2008-11-09T20:53:00.004-07:00

Lately, I've been feeling really happy for no particular reason. I've recently gone over my journal and realized how grateful I am and SHOULD be for the things I went through there. I remember one specific experience when I was serving as a Branch President in a little town in Mexico. A younger couple wanted to talk to me. As soon as they came in you could tell that they couldn't stand each other in that moment. The wife went on to tell me how her husband was the person she least wanted to see each day. The husband told me that his wife was ugly and a bad homemaker. All I could think of the whole time was, "WOW! I sure am glad my parents at least PRETEND to like me! I really want a wife someday that can at least PRETEND to love me even when upset, and that I can do the same..."

My mission was incredible. I didn't have to knock on ONE door. The people were so ready, they came to us. Or we would contact them on the bus between appointments. Many times people would come up to us and ask, "What do I have to do to become a member of your church?" I am so grateful for a merciful Heavenly Father that is mindful of all of His children. He trusts so much in us that he is willing to let people, even as me, to be His servants. His arm is extended to me all the time, regardless of my mistakes and shortcomings. I have seen His this power in some incredible people I have met recently. I hear stories of people's dark pasts and see the lights in their eyes now. I see that they have changed because the Lord never gave up on them. It shows that I cannot judge people for who they are now, but whot they can become.

So why do I allow myself to get down on myself? Why do I live in the future instead of aspiring for it? It seems that the world nowadays thinks only in how great their lives will be when something happens for them in the future. I will be happy when the semester ends, when the weekend comes, when I graduate, when I find my true love, when I go on my mission, when I turn 16 (or 18 or 19 or 21), when I have kids, when I STOP having kids, when I have grandkids, when my work schedule clears up, when my parents give me some freedom, when the economy gets better, when I enter the temple, when I see my lover again, when I get my own car, when I get a house, when I've paid off my house, when I retire, when BYU beats University of Utah on November 22nd....instead of dreading today while looking forward to tomorrow, I should live for today and look ahead optimistically to tomorrow!

In the new testament, I love the parable of the pearl of great price. I know there are lots of ways to interpret it, but I like to see it one way. The scripture says that "the kingdom of heaven is like unto a merchant man, seeking goodly pearls: Who, when he had found one pearl of great price, went and sold all that he had, and bought it." The merchant man is obviously an expert. He knows his trade and is able to identify those pearls that are of most worth. I like to see this parable in this way: Christ is the merchant man. We are His pearls. He is (and was) willing to buy us after selling all he had. He gave everything to buy our salvation and our souls (ye are bought with a price)....

So why do we see ourselves so differently when we look in the mirror? Why do I see myself sometimes and think things such as, "Wow kid you're skinny", or "Holy crud you could fly with those ears of yours," :) instead of thinking and seeing the person that Christ sees? If we could only see ourselves as those pearls of great price. Instead of thinking negatively, I should be thinking of the power I have as a child of GOD. I hold His Priestood. I hold more authority than the President of the United States (take that Obama!:) ). I am loved by the single most important person that has ever walked the earth, and He knows my name.

Today marks 13 years since my sister Tami died. I wonder often what she would be like. I'm sure she'd have kids by now. Her pictures are all over our house, reminding me of her sweet smile and her kind and caring nature. I wonder what SHE thought about life and the world in general as she knew that she was on the verge of death. Did her perspective on herself change into the one that Christ had on her? Did she see herself through Christ's eyes? I really want to think so.

There is so much to be happy about in life! I know who I am and what I want. I am confident that the promises the Lord has given me will happen as long as I am faithful.

We Are Crazy.

2008-11-07T22:48:00.004-07:00

So yeah. What would you do if you were at the top of a mountain and found a frozen lake? Well, to us the answer was obvious...

Maple Mountain Pics

2008-11-07T21:06:00.007-07:00

Blake (President Merrell) and I went up the back side of Maple Mountain. This was 'round June I think. It was awesome!! We found a frozen lake at the top. We didn't expect snow, so that was kinda cool. I especially enjoyed sliding down the mountain on our bums on our way back.

Grandpa Anderson almost to the top. It was steep! And slippery. We
could've easily died.

There was a lake at the top! It looked cold...

Beautiful Beautiful

Beautiful Beautiful

Beautiful

I Learned Things From the Jehova's Witnesses Early Saturday Morning

2008-11-06T00:17:00.008-07:00

The Jehovas Witnesses came to my door early Saturday morning. At first, I was ready to bible-bash and maybe answer the door with a book of mormon in hand (maybe with some reading glasses, which I don't need), or turn up BYU-TV before answering the door. I resisted temptation and was actually surprised. There was no resistance or really any message at all. They just told me they wanted me to read something and gave me an issue of AWAKE!. I was so pleasantly surprised to have an experience with the Jehova's Witness that didn't take longer than 2 hours 20 minutes (plus the fact that I didn't feel angry at the end of it) that I decided to look at the issue. I thought I might want to share the message with you:

All Suffering SOON TO END! I was surprised they knew I was doing homework and almost done with it at the time. I was also looking forward to the free pumpkins, apples, land, and pet moose that I was about to have when that suffering ended. And that extremely yellow grass looks nice and soft.

I was so excited to learn so much that I decided to look on the internet and found several other breaking news(es) about the world from the front covers of other issues...I really learned a lot!:

The plural for the word "Youth" is "Youths". I didn't know that.

I don't think my heart would have been opened enough to investigate other issues had THIS one been the message for me from the JW's that day. They didn't seem to hate me...but I guess they do.

Thank you for reminding me about daylight savings time on Sunday. I was immediately reminded of my meeting at the stake center at 7 A.M. Sunday morning. I will remember this issue when my alarm clock startles me Awake! at an early hour. At this point, I will start counting with my fingers to make sure I have the time right and don't stumble into an empty church meetinghouse, dazed and confused.

There is a Watchtower specifically for SINNERS! This made me happy because they didn't give ME the sinner issue. I wonder if they could see light in my eyes. They gave ME the message about pet moosen with a girl next to me eating fruit! :)

SO TRUE. All of the old people from that generation just WILL NOT DIE. They are creating a shortage of jobs, and ruining social security completely for their own grandkids. I will do my part for future generations and die from too much cholesterol in my system by age 80.

And now...back to suffering (homework)

Give Him Some Lovin'

2008-11-05T22:18:00.005-07:00

I love Neal A. Maxwell. Everything he did and said inspires me. I mean, how cool do you have to be to get a book selling on Amazon called "The Neal A. Maxwell Quote Book"? His childhood was flooded with feelings of a lack of self-worth and self-esteem. He was horrible at English as a child, but near the end of his life he practically made up new words for the dictionary because he was so faithful and diligent in conquering his weaknesses.

I am reading a book for the second time called "Not My Will, But Thine" by Neal A. Maxwell. I am just so impressed with his knowledge of US as human beings and God's role with us.

I'm gonna give you one of my favorite parts. It's pretty good. If you don't like it, well you're crazy. It might seem that I took a paragraph here, a paragraph there, but this is the order it comes in. It is like two pages of the whole book. I highly recommend it to anyone. I especially like the end of this. Anyway, this would be under my favorite quotes but its way too long. I promise edification:

Mortality, this precious micro-dot on the canvas of eternity, is such a
brief moment. While in it, we are to prepare ourselves for the time when there
will be no time.

The strategic answers available to help us in this mortal moment are
awesome. Where else but in the gospel of Jesus Christ in its restored fulness
can one find the needed explanations for a God, perfect in His power and
goodness, who nevertheless permits evil and suffering? Clearly, He desires to
“set (us) us as a free people,” if we will. But will we then stay that
way?

So often in life, it seems, a blessing is quickly succeeded by a
stretching. Spiritual exhilaration is often short lived, being soon followed by
vexation, temptation, and even tribulation. Perhaps this is so because we cannot
handle exhilaration for any length of time. Or is it because we need to get on
with the next challenge, there being so little time for languishing? Or is it
that experiencing the sharp, side-by-side contrast of the sweet and the bitter,
almost continuously, is essential until the very end of this mortal experience?
Or are we at risk if in extended spiritual reveries we quickly forget the needs
of others?

Whatever the reasons, the Lord hastens us forward – submissively on to the
next work to be done. Handcarts are to be picked up again promptly, after
pausing whether for gladness or for sadness. We are to “seek” first to build up
the kingdom of God, and to establish His righteousness. But we cannot build up
the kingdom if we are tearing ourselves down. Thus we must deny ourselves
certain things as part of taking up the cross daily. Significantly, Jesus
stresses this in His Nephite Sermon on the Mount. Temple covenants provide us
with specific standards, and temple attendance with much-needed reminders of
commitments made.

Submitting, but only episodically, is a telltale sign. Such reluctance is
evidence of weak faith. So is putting off obedience. Sufficient submissiveness
to kneel now means we will not be strangers to that posture later when “every
knee shall bow and every tongue confess that Jesus is the Christ”. It will take
no faith to renounce worldly things when these are among the ashes of a melted
planet.

Meanwhile, spiritual submissiveness brings about the wiser use of our
times, talents, and gifts as compared with our laboring diligently but
conditionally to establish our own righteousness instead of the Lord’s. After
all, Lucifer was willing to work very hard, but conditionally in his own way and
for his own purposes.

Those who insist on walking their own way will find that all such paths,
however individualistic in appearance, will converge at the wide way and broad
gate – where there will be a tremendous traffic jam.

Giving place in our souls and in our schedules, making room for God’s words
and work, requires intellectual submissiveness. It requires us to be responsive
to all entreaties from the Lord, rather than being dependent upon thunderbolts
to move us, or upon being commanded in all things. Submission requires
sufficient dedication and perspiration to “try the experiment” of His gospel’s
goodness, to begin to follow Him in earnest.

When Jesus said, “Come, follow me,” it was an invitation, not a taunt.
Moreover, His firm footprints are especially recognizable. They reflect no
hesitancy, and no turning aside; they lie in a straight path. The prints are
also sunk inerasably deep into the soil of the second estate because of the
heavy burdens He bore. A portion of that depth is attributable to us,
individually, because we added to the heaviness of His pressing yoke.

So how can we have the necessary faith to be submissive if we are filled
with sharp doubts and nagging questions? Before we can submit to God and His
plan, we must be persuaded to do so voluntarily.

Whew! That took a lot longer to type than to read. Anyway, this is pretty much awesome. It says a lot to me. I get frustrated with a lot of ppl in this world. Especially cuz they don't even know they're fetchers. He shows the fetcher in all of us.

Disturbed and Purturbed

2008-11-05T21:59:00.006-07:00

Dear girl who sits by me in Accounting class,

I always thought you were great. I didn't know your name or anything. You were exactly the good company I needed that wouldn't distract me from learning my major.

Then, about a week ago, I saw your butt.

I was walking to the parking lot after class. There you were, leaning over to take a picture of a flower on the side of the way. I began to wonder why I wasn't appreciating the natural beauty around me. So I looked over at the flowers. My attention was diverted, because your butt was showing outside of your pants. The beauty of the world rapidly vanished. The flowers in my mind were burning. I wasn't sure I'd ever hear a little child laugh again.

It wasn't a plumber's crack. It wasn't the beginning of a butt shaping from your lower back. It was roughly half of your butt I saw that day. Other passersby saw it, double-taking in shock and disbelief.

It has been a rough week. I can't talk to you anymore. Something unnatural and unexpected and uncomfortable happened between us, and I am the only one that knows it. What do I do? Should I tell you? Would it be appropriate? Or do I let it eat at me, waiting for the end of semester to come in hopes that I won't see you in any business classes again?

Please notify me as soon as possible.

-Spencer

Disclaimer to All

2008-11-05T21:32:00.003-07:00

Hello everyone. I am extremely sarcastic sometimes. I like to complain until I get what I want. That's what my parents taught me. I write notes like crazy on Facebook but I got sick of the lack of versatility in the notes application. So here I go. I'm blogging!

Basically, my comments may not be for anyone but me. So don't take anything seriously from me. Seriously. I am hilarious if you look at things through my eyes, so just do that and there shouldn't be a problem.