A letter to Boise State fans on their "Broncoboard"

As the newest convert to Bronco nation, I would like to reach out and help some of my new brothers and sisters understand the AP poll results that came out this morning. I get that you might be feeling confused and angry that somehow BYU has jumped us in the rankings. Never fear, it is understandable that you may feel this way. The polls incorporate several concepts that are not generally well understood at BSU, such as "math", "history", and "geography", while omitting more familiar themes such as "truck driving", "vending machine repair", and "recreational drug use".

Let's start with history. As Travis has pointed out, BSU is 2-0 against BYU, so you would think that would mean that BSU would HAVE to be ranked ahead of BYU. Also it has been pointed out the BSU also beat Oklahoma. However, hold on to your orange hats here, those games occurred in what is referred to in scientific terms as the "past". Remember how before the sun came up lots of times before, our Basketball team used to be pretty good? Apply that concept to the BSU victories against BYU and you start to get the picture.

Next let's take math. The opponent that BYU beat was better than the opponent that BSU beat because they were ranked HIGHER. Rankings are indicated by little numbers next to teams names, but here's the tricky part, the LOWER the number, the higher they were ranked. Think of it this way. When you get pulled over for DUI and the officer asks you to blow in the little hose, the LOWER the number is, the better the chances that you don't have to spend the night in jail. Now you're getting it!!!!!!

Finally, geography. BSU's win was what we call a "home" game. These are easy to identify because the game is played on a large blue gymnasium mat and someone informs you how to dress. As opposed to a "road" game where you have to take a greyhound bus or Southwest flight to reach the stadium and then make the difficult decision of which of your 17 orange-themed shirts go best with your cut-offs and flip-flops. If you are fortunate, this "road" game may take place somewhere along your current long-haul truck route, and you can sleep in the stadium parking lot.