Disturbed and Purturbed

Dear girl who sits by me in Accounting class,

I always thought you were great. I didn't know your name or anything. You were exactly the good company I needed that wouldn't distract me from learning my major.

Then, about a week ago, I saw your butt.

I was walking to the parking lot after class. There you were, leaning over to take a picture of a flower on the side of the way. I began to wonder why I wasn't appreciating the natural beauty around me. So I looked over at the flowers. My attention was diverted, because your butt was showing outside of your pants. The beauty of the world rapidly vanished. The flowers in my mind were burning. I wasn't sure I'd ever hear a little child laugh again.


It wasn't a plumber's crack. It wasn't the beginning of a butt shaping from your lower back. It was roughly half of your butt I saw that day. Other passersby saw it, double-taking in shock and disbelief.

It has been a rough week. I can't talk to you anymore. Something unnatural and unexpected and uncomfortable happened between us, and I am the only one that knows it. What do I do? Should I tell you? Would it be appropriate? Or do I let it eat at me, waiting for the end of semester to come in hopes that I won't see you in any business classes again?

Please notify me as soon as possible.

-Spencer