I Learned Things From the Jehova's Witnesses Early Saturday Morning

The Jehovas Witnesses came to my door early Saturday morning. At first, I was ready to bible-bash and maybe answer the door with a book of mormon in hand (maybe with some reading glasses, which I don't need), or turn up BYU-TV before answering the door. I resisted temptation and was actually surprised. There was no resistance or really any message at all. They just told me they wanted me to read something and gave me an issue of AWAKE!. I was so pleasantly surprised to have an experience with the Jehova's Witness that didn't take longer than 2 hours 20 minutes (plus the fact that I didn't feel angry at the end of it) that I decided to look at the issue. I thought I might want to share the message with you:

All Suffering SOON TO END! I was surprised they knew I was doing homework and almost done with it at the time. I was also looking forward to the free pumpkins, apples, land, and pet moose that I was about to have when that suffering ended. And that extremely yellow grass looks nice and soft.

I was so excited to learn so much that I decided to look on the internet and found several other breaking news(es) about the world from the front covers of other issues...I really learned a lot!:

The plural for the word "Youth" is "Youths". I didn't know that.

I don't think my heart would have been opened enough to investigate other issues had THIS one been the message for me from the JW's that day. They didn't seem to hate me...but I guess they do.

Thank you for reminding me about daylight savings time on Sunday. I was immediately reminded of my meeting at the stake center at 7 A.M. Sunday morning. I will remember this issue when my alarm clock startles me Awake! at an early hour. At this point, I will start counting with my fingers to make sure I have the time right and don't stumble into an empty church meetinghouse, dazed and confused.

There is a Watchtower specifically for SINNERS! This made me happy because they didn't give ME the sinner issue. I wonder if they could see light in my eyes. They gave ME the message about pet moosen with a girl next to me eating fruit! :)

SO TRUE. All of the old people from that generation just WILL NOT DIE. They are creating a shortage of jobs, and ruining social security completely for their own grandkids. I will do my part for future generations and die from too much cholesterol in my system by age 80.




And now...back to suffering (homework)